A mother's journey of being Single and Pregnant in 2015

NOT YOUR MAMA’S PREGNANCY: Pregnancy-Defining Firsts

Looking at Your Life

Your body is changing—yes. You’re pregnant! But it’s more than that. Your priorities are changing. Your future is changing. Even your day to day is changing. And while it is amazing and exciting and thrilling…. honestly, it’s kind of scary. You are no longer just responsible for yourself. You are 100% responsible for another life.

My “baby daddy”—a term that used to turn me off but now I realize is quite accurate, told me that he didn’t understand why I was “overreacting” and that “the only changes I was experiencing were going to a few doctors appointments—not a big deal.” In fact, he believed that since I was only nauseous 24/7 but not actually throwing up, while I had a job that allowed me to work from home (not including the regular TV appearances where I had to be “on” and look put together), I had it easy compared to most moms-to-be.

Was he right? Was I overreacting? Was I being one of those crazy first-time moms who was hyper-careful and obsessed with every aspect of pregnancy? Or was I just trying to adjust my life, my dreams, my future, my career, my energy levels, my fears, and my pains to my reality?

If you read last month’s Not Your Mama’s Pregnancy column called “Pregnant and Alone,” you’d know that I am 37, single, and pregnant. This month’s column is about two major Firsts: feeling a foot kicking inside your belly and seeing milk drip from your nipple. Yeah… I’m definitely pregnant.

First Kicks

I almost mistook it as gas; but at 18 weeks, I started to feel little kicks, so delicate that they felt more like bubbles gently pressing into the lining of my uterus. Suddenly I knew everything was going to be okay: I could feel my baby, healthy and growing inside me. The kicks weren’t yet strong enough to feel from the outside of my stomach, so even if I had a partner here to place his hand on my belly, he wouldn’t share in the simultaneously thrilling and calming experience, but it would have been nice anyway. I did text my ex. He didn’t respond. At around 9 pm over the next several nights, and ongoing since then, my little man gets active. Sometimes it feels as though he is doing a gymnastics performance—which is just fine with me. His movements, which become more forceful each week, reinforce that this is real and that the weight gain, life changes, and even the roller coaster of emotions are beautiful.

First Milk

I was 22 weeks along. After getting out of the shower, my breasts felt particularly engorged. I looked down and there was a drop of brownish yellow liquid coming from my nipple! I gasped. My dog, who is increasingly protective of me, ran to my side. In disbelief, I squeezed my breast, and sure enough several more droplets of milky substance was excreted. I called my mom, because I had to call someone! Then I scoured the internet for information on the first signs of milk production. Seemed mine was a few weeks early, but according to the articles it tastes sweet in flavor and some men actually enjoy sucking their pregnant partner’s breasts so that they could sneak a taste. I didn’t try mine. The good news about being single? Stimulating and sucking the nipples can bring on early labor. No problems here!

Read more of Stella’s story on: NotYourMamasPregnancy.com.