Photo by Chris Soule from Into Being

It was an early Saturday morning, with a dewy mist still hanging over the green foothills of my Los Angeles suburb when my father drove me up to the ballpark in our tan ’67 Plymouth. I really wasn’t that young, maybe 11 or 12, but when I look back to those striking moments, I feel as though I was much younger.
That little trip up the hill was the first time I remember being afraid.

Yes, I felt fear many times before that particular day, although not in the same way. After all, my parents had gone through a less than amicable separation, followed by a jagged divorce. They just hacked it out, minus the attorneys and mediators of today. My mom and dad yelled at each other, each with their own conniving strategies. Mom used Biblical scripture and high-pitched tones as her weapons; Dad employed common sense and domination, fueled by a bottle in a paper sack, usually hidden under his car seat or in the freezer at home.

Yes, those were scary times, but I didn’t feel vulnerable in the same way that I did while we were driving to the ball field with just my dad and me in the car; before this, at least they were both there with me, despite their attention directed toward one another. During the ride, as I nervously dug my fingers deeper into my baseball glove, I felt incredibly alone and on my own. I couldn’t help but to fantasize that I would soon be alone and on my own in the outfield when the ball was hit my way; no mom or dad would be at my side, fighting one another, or not. My body did a good job of reinforcing how I felt between my ears and nervous stomach – butterflies – and the unpredictable sensations of heat mixed with tingling crept up my legs and arms, like monkeys up a banana tree.

“We should turn around Dad! Maybe we can go to the beach instead, and I can ride my new yellow surfboard?” No, that’s not what I said. Nothing came out of my mouth, because I didn’t want to disappoint. I could think it, but if my dad heard how I felt and what I’d rather be doing, he’d respond with some sensible retort like, “Sports will get ya into college, John!” He encouraged me in his own way, “You’re bigger than half the kids and smarter than the other half!” I suppose his encouragement might have helped, but first I needed him to hear my feelings. It was important for me to know that it was okay to be afraid and that I shouldn’t try to deny it.

How we learn to manage psychological fear when we are young will influence how we deal with what scares us later in life as well as how much stress we are able to manage from day to day. In other words, if we learn to develop a healthy ability to manage fear, we can lower our stress response. This has far-reaching effects in our lives as adults.

Reflecting on this, I am reminded of a teaching that has been shared in many forms: Beneath every negative belief, experience, or situation, there is a positive intention, lesson, or insight. I believe this wisdom can be applied to fear — physically, when we become aware of it in the body, and – emotionally when we become aware of it in the mind. As we gently remind ourselves that this allegedly negative event that causes suffering has something profoundly positive to show us, fear loses its grip on our attention. An awareness of our experience moment to moment is key to this shift, as it enables a quick redirection of our attention toward a deeper reality without suppressing the negative physical and psychological sensations.

The next time you feel the surge of that familiar, unwanted, fight-flight-freeze response try the following simple practice: Take three long, deep, and slow breaths to activate the Relaxation Response and stabilize the body. Direct your attention toward what yogic philosophy identifies as the wisdom center between the eyebrows, as though you can now see the insightful and profound lesson and positive intention of what your situation is teaching you in that moment. You may discover that being present within yourself and developing the ability to be with what is, moment-to-moment, changes everything.

John Sahakian

John Sahakian is a Clinical Hypnotherapist and Counselor and sees clients daily for all stress related issues, via Skype, Facetime, Whatsapp, and in his west Los Angeles office. This article is based on the short film “Into Being,” featuring John and his son Bodhi, and was a winner at the Patagonia Short Film Festival. Please visit: www.johnsahakian.com

The post Fear: Recognize the Underlying Gift appeared first on LA Yoga Magazine - Ayurveda & Health.

by John Sahakian C.Ht. ERYT

photo by David Young-Wolff

Whether we smile or frown, laugh or scowl, approach our lives with wide-eyed wonderment, or bitter tears, our faces are almost always active. Day in and day out, our facial expressions can have a powerful effect on our lives. It doesn’t matter if we’re communicating feelings such as happiness or anger, reacting to the facial expressions of others, or responding to stimuli in our environment, our face is a gateway for emotional energy. With a relaxation practice that directs our attention toward this part of our body we can experience relief from the demands of life and restore a sense of peace and well-being that will be felt on the inside – and be visible on the outside.

The stress reaction of muscular tension in the face and its consequences is not unlike the stress reaction in other parts of the body. A primitive and natural response to danger, fear triggers the sympathetic branch of the autonomic nervous system modifying our blood chemistry, affecting distribution of blood, and potentially saving us from harm’s way. This life saving function is rarely needed in the modern world because its purpose is to help us during actual physical threats in the wild. We frequently use fear unintentionally to combat psychological attacks instead of physical ones. Evidently, it is difficult for our body/nervous system to make out the difference between a predatory beast and a job interview, or other psychological stressor.

The first steps in letting go of tension are to accept that there is nothing to fear and that it’s more helpful for us to be calm in any given situation. This might be easy in theory, but changing a primitive response designed to keep us alive requires a diligent practice in awareness. Just remember — the practice of reducing tension is cumulative and builds on itself to gently coax our nervous system into more frequent states of safety and homeostasis, or balance.

Studies show that we tend to wait until we are suffering from the effects of stress before we take action. The practices of Downward Face (see below) are recommended not only for recuperating from the adverse effects of stress, they can also serve as preventative medicine by helping to better manage the unconscious emotional reactions that create tension in the first place. By repeatedly catching ourselves when the stress response is activated in the face, we begin to accept that it’s not always necessary to be afraid of something that only threatens us psychologically. Additionally, knowing that we have the power to choose healthy responses to life’s challenges could even inspire us to use our facial muscles to smile more often, which research has shown can have a positive influence on others and improve our experience of life.

Regardless of how you feel right now, try taking a few minutes to practice Downward Face. Mindfully follow these simple steps and remind yourself that awareness without judgment is key.

The first part of the practice delivers more blood flow into your face to stimulate the muscles. The second part of the practice focuses on relaxing the face through the use of focused attention.

Practice Downward Face: Restorative Facial Yoga

Sit or lie down in a comfortable position, close your eyes, and take a long deep breath.

While you take three more slow, deep breaths, use the tip of your tongue to massage the inside of your mouth and push the skin outward all the way around in front of your teeth, behind your cheeks, and even along roof of your mouth. Include the soft tissue in the massage below your tongue and behind your front teeth, as well. After your third breath, simply relax the face and tongue and notice what you feel.

As you continue to consciously take slow, deep breaths, open your mouth and eyes as wide as possible. Keeping your eyes stretched wide open, very slowly lower and raise just your eyelids a few times.

Let the breath settle, but continue to be aware of it and close your eyes again. Use your fingertips to softly and lightly tap all over your face and forehead repeatedly, like a spider scampering over your skin.

Keeping your eyes closed, rest your awareness at the center of the top of your head. Be aware of your breath, allowing it to move naturally and with ease.  

At a snail’s pace, move your attention down the front of your face, beginning at the forehead and temples, then to the middle of the forehead over the eyebrows, then finally rest your awareness at the third eye between your eyebrows. Linger there for three to five breaths with the intention for your face to be passive, neutral, and inactive.

Continue to move your attention around the eye sockets, repeating the suggestion silently in your mind for your face to be passive, neutral, and inactive, while relaxing the eye muscles.

Slowly move your awareness around your nose and cheek muscles, relaxing the jaw, tongue, and top and bottom of your lips, inside and out, still maintaining the attitude of being passive, neutral, and inactive.

Take your time, as you move your awareness around the chin, dropping down to the throat, allowing it to be passive, neutral and inactive.

Conclude your practice with a nice long, comfortable breath and notice how relaxed your face feels. Turn your attention to the feeling in the rest of the body. Enjoy the experience of simply being.

Practice the restorative yoga of Downward Face as often as you’d like to release the habitual tension that builds up in your face to promote balance, peace, and harmony. You might find yourself frowning less and smiling more.

John Sahakian C.Ht., ERYT is a clinical hypnotherapist who conducts workshops on stress management. He is the creator of The 3-Minute Cure and the founder of the Clinic for Integrative Mindfulness and Stress Reduction in West Los Angeles. He is also known to teach some yoga, and he finds a sense of balance and connection to the breath and nature while surfing. threecircleflow.com; johnsahakian.com.

John Sahakian

John Sahakian is a Clinical Hypnotherapist and Counselor and sees clients daily for all stress related issues, via Skype, Facetime, Whatsapp, and in his west Los Angeles office. This article is based on the short film “Into Being,” featuring John and his son Bodhi, and was a winner at the Patagonia Short Film Festival. Please visit: www.johnsahakian.com

The post Downward Face appeared first on LA Yoga Magazine - Ayurveda & Health.