Harmony Begins in Our Consciousness
Human beings are familial beings; we treasure the company of loved ones. It is proven that harmonious family relationships promote mental, emotional, and physical well-being. In new relationships, care, compassion, and respect flow effortlessly. New relationships seem perfect and it’s easy to envision them remaining that way forever. However, after some time, the novelty wears off and things change, because we not only see the gifts of the relationship but the challenges as well. Initially we may deny inner and outer relationship issues, to ourselves and others. Or we may try to cover them up with pleasing words and actions. But gradually, left unresolved, it becomes difficult to sustain the same level of love and respect for the other person. So what are we to do when we want to consciously create harmonious relationships?
Our experience of conflict in relationships begins in our consciousness. So the healing and the creation of harmonious relationships also has to begin there. If we try to resolve it in words but hold bitter thoughts in our minds, the conflict grows. The strength of a relationship is determined by what we think about each other, not how we speak or behave. Our behavior can outwardly be fine, but our thoughts radiate to that person as vibrations. So, it is only a matter of time before we receive similar vibes back and it triggers conflict. Here are five simple steps to re-create harmony in strained relationships and consciously create harmonious relationships.
Take Responsibility to Cultivate Harmonious Relationships
The negative energy and emotions during and after a conflict can block us from realizing our contribution to it. Our ‘Response’ was our contribution. Even if the other person harmed, betrayed, belittled, disrespected, or ignored us…that was their part. Our response of anger, hurt, and resentment was our choice and creation. When we stop blaming the other person and look at our role in creating the conflict, healing begins.
2. Practice The Law of Reciprocity
The conflict began due to our perception about the other person. We created negative thoughts, felt negative feelings, developed a negative attitude, behaved negatively, and then transmitted negative energy. Hence, the energy radiated returned back to us, full circle. When our thoughts, feelings, attitudes, and behaviors turn positive, the reciprocating positive energy heals us too.
3. Turn Expectations into Acceptance
Acceptance means understanding the other person’s nature and not getting disturbed by it. When I accept someone and stop expecting them to be or act some other way, it limits my internal noise and questions. When my mind is stable, I can respond proactively. I will then be able to choose the right response by remaining assertive, loving, and powerful.
4. The Art of Letting Go is Essential
Only one of us needs to dissolve our contribution to the conflict for healing to begin. Letting go means that I am not in resistance but open to solutions and I do not hold on to something any longer than necessary. Once we have resolved the conflict, in order to move forward, we need to let go of it in our consciousness. Thus the saying, “Forgive and forget.”
5. Keeping Faith for Harmonious Relationships
Have faith that it will not repeat. Any insecurity and fear about their future behavior can create an emotional barrier. If our efforts do not resolve the conflict, let us keep the faith and continue to radiate love and healing to them. Keeping faith in the other person and myself—no matter what—can only help the situation. Paying more attention to what we think and feel about them, and not what they think about us, helps us to move forward faster.
Create Shifts for Harmonious Relationships
When we shift from expectation to acceptance we can forge stronger relationships. Moving beyond the labels of our roles and responsibilities can help us become embodiments of the primary virtues of love, peace, power, wisdom, and joy. When we experience these emotions from within, we do not expect them from our relationships. Instead we connect with people (and nature) with the intention to give, give, and give happiness…thus receiving it in return. Our inner awakening can positively influence our relationships.
Attend the Awakening West Coast Tour
Join the Brahma Kumaris of Southern California for the Awakening West Coast Tour with BK Sister Shivani. These few hours of valuable time may inspire us to be the unifying force for change through deepening our awareness of how to create more harmony in relationships. For details on other Awakening events visit us at awakening.brahmakumaris.us. For FREE tickets, visit: bklosangeles.org.
BK Sister Shivani will be at the Bren Events Center at UCI, 100 Mesa Rd, Irvine, on Friday, June 8, from 6:30-9pm. For free tickets visit: awakening.brahmakumaris.us.
BK Sister Shivani will be at the Dolby Theatre, 6801 Hollywood Blvd, Hollywood, on Saturday, June 9. There will be a morning program in Hindi 11am-2pm and an evening program in English 6pm-9pm. For free tickets, visit: bklosangeles.org/-register-sister-shivani-event.