Mystic Madness or Blissful Big Bang?
Photo of Hazel Patterson by Adam Latham, angeladam.com
You wake up, take a shower, get dressed, make coffee then manage your way to work through the traffic. At the office, you engage in small talk with your co-workers and buckle in for another day in the world. Then, suddenly, you feel a brimming flush of energy move through your spine and your soul feels like it is vibrating. You feel a shift in your awareness of everything around you and experience a sense of calm or bliss in the way that you perceive where you are, what you are doing, and who you are. It’s not overwhelming, or scary, or threatening – but it feels very real, relaxing and even surreal as in a dream. You might even feel the incomprehensible impulse to tell someone you haven’t been getting along with that you love them. And, then, you wonder, “What is happening to me?” What has happened? Your heart has opened to a new awareness of yourself and your connectedness to the universe around you. You have fallen in love with your true self and have come to realize that there is more to life than getting a paycheck.
The opening of the heart chakra, or just simply the opening of your heart to new depths of connectedness by falling in love not only with yourself but with others, can be a disorienting and overwhelming experience that can leave many newcomers to Yoga and meditation feeling vulnerable, peaceful and balanced, or reaching for a parachute clip that is malfunctioning after leaping from an airborne vehicle. The first instinct in this situation is to ask, “Is this normal?” or “Have I finally gone insane from all the stress of living in this impossible world?”
Psychoanalyst and Pacifica Graduate Institute Professor Dr. Veronica Goodchild, in her book Eros and Chaos, describes the experience of the heart-opening release of shaktipat (heart-opening energy) as the “microcosmic reflection of this cosmic creation seen in the Kundalini serpent energy rising from the base of the spine through all the chakras of the body to the crown.”
I’d like to dispel four essential myths about heart-opening experiences. First, you don’t have to be poked in the eye with a peacock feather by a guru; or hugged by a divine saint; or dunked by a priest in a river to experience the bliss of a heart-opening initiation event. Second, you don’t have to do any hallucinogenic drugs. Third, there isn’t only “one” way to get it, “one” way to find it, “one” way to keep it or “one” way to describe it. The truth is that everyone has a different experience of what happens when that first flood of blissful energy opens their heart. For some people the moment of love can be brief and fleeting while for others it can be gradual and build up after practicing Yoga for a period of time. For others, it could actually take a couple of lifetimes to experience. The fourth and last myth is that if you have not experienced a heart-opening experience, it is not because you are a “bad person,” or “unloved by the universe.” Nor does it mean that you are “doing the postures incorrectly” because there is no right or wrong way to do Yoga. It also doesn’t mean that you are eating too much cake or listening to too much pop music. Basically, just wait and be patient with your path. All heart-opening experiences vary depending on a person’s path.
For kirtan legend Krishna Das (KD), the feeling of opening the heart came as a result of being exposed to new alchemical synergy while in India. “I was walking around the lake in a mountain town called Nainital when I heard chanting coming from a temple,” KD recalled. “I was completely and instantly mesmerized and stopped in my tracks. I couldn’t move. The people inside saw me and called to me to come in. They were so welcoming and singing with an intensity I had never felt before. I felt like I had found my path in life right at that moment.” When I asked KD if he felt like he had gone insane, he responded, “No, I felt like I was going sane.”
One thing important to keep in mind is that the opening of the heart is not exclusive to people who only do Yoga or perform spiritual
activities. The heart can open just by connecting with a loved one, while giving birth, reading a book, watching an inspiring movie,
listening to a piece of music, or outdoors communing with nature. Such was the case of acupuncturist and holistic healer Iris Tanz who found that her heart opened while on a two month-long journey of outdoor wilderness living along the beautiful California coastline. “It was a sacred and lucid moment that transformed into eternity,” she recalled, “whereby nothing and everything existed simultaneously. At that time, I felt only one thing: ultimate freedom.”
The heart can also be opened during workshops. Such was the case for Lenise Sorén, Practitioner of Natural Face Lifts and The Sorenity Crystal Cleanse, who shared such an experience. “Five minutes into a personal growth workshop,” Sorén said, “my eyes were closed and tears just flowed down my cheeks, the doors of my heart busted open and I felt this overwhelming knowing that I was home.”
When the heart opens it creates an opportunity for us to enter life fully, without reservations and exist in a space where unconditional love can manifest in a healthy way inspiring us to be of service to everyone else.
For some though when the heart opens up after a long period of dormancy, the experience can be like a “big bang” event, as was the case for Ayurvedic healer and kirtan singer Travis Eliot who describes his heart-opening moment as a huge tidal wave of bliss. “I simply got rocked,” Eliot recalled. “I felt like all my baggage was decimated in an instant, and felt a huge upsurge of energy that shot my entire being like a rocket through the ceiling, I was very surprised when I finally opened my eyes to see I was still seated on the floor somehow.”
How heart-opening experiences are viewed by psychologists depends on the school of theory an individual is trained in or aligned with. The traditional psychodynamic-trained therapist may express interest in your experience, while insisting you remain grounded in reality. They may suggest that what you are feeling is part of your psyche trying to compensate for some empty existential feeling of loss left over from childhood. In this regard, Kevin Light, Yoga instructor and Bhaktiware founder recalled his childhood: “I experienced infrequent, but very powerful, disconcerting waves of ecstatic bliss. The feeling would seemingly come from nowhere, last for minutes or even an hour or more, and then disappear as quickly as it had appeared, leaving me feeling lonely and sad and even a little frightened. A child psychiatrist told me this was not normal: Bliss was not normal, it was something to mistrust! Depression, on the other hand, was normal. Eventually, I became abnormal most of the time.”
In contrast, a Jungian or depth psychologist (which I am currently in training to become), would embrace your transpersonal experience as a phenomenological manifestation of soul moving towards wholeness and individuation. Such a therapist would likely see your shift from a collective perspective and assess it as a sign of growth and counsel you through your experience with close observation. Depth psychologists generally feel that people who experience the transpersonal heart-opening sensation are not suffering from delusions, nor are they going mad. But, it is important to note that such a therapist would not suggest you to move to India and live in an ashram either.
Most psychologists agree that the heart-opening experience can be a shock to the psyche, but it is associated with the realization that you can generate your own love and your own source of abundance. “Consciousness, as a spiritual principle is the creation of another reality,” writes Dr. Goodchild. But along with that, when the heart opens there is “no longer any separation between psyche and matter, soul and world, no longer any separation between who we are, how we live, what we do, or who we love.” When the heart opens it creates an opportunity for us to enter life fully, without reservations and exist in a space where unconditional love can manifest in a healthy way inspiring us to be of service to everyone else.
Remember, Yoga means “union with the self” and what you are seeking is already there. When the heart opens, the awareness of this level of unconditional love may not always last, but it is always available to you. Most importantly, during those moments when your ego tells you that you are “not loved,” consider that once you have had your heart opened you may never spend another holiday feeling like you have been abandoned. In fact, every day becomes a celebration shared with the collective cosmological whole of the universe in honor of you – your beautiful, perfect, radiant Self.
Dr. Veronica Goodchild, Eros & Chaos, Nicolas Hays Publishing. 2001
Kevin Light: bhaktiware.com
Travis Eliot: traviseliot.com
Iris Tanz: fusionhealer.com
Lenise Sorén: serenity.com
Krishna Das: krishnadas.com
Michael R. Mollura is a writer, music composer, and event promoter who is currently pursuing a PhD in clinical psychology at Pacifica Graduate Institute. He has two masters’ degrees from NYU in performance and behavioral studies. He maintains a sacred world music e-mail list that he offers freely as seva (selfless service). Michael is a founding member of the world music ensemble Ragama: myspace.com/ragama. michaelmollura.com or e-mail: Michael@michaelmollura.com.
By Michael R. Mollura, MFA, MA, Phd (in progress)
