Walking the Lifelong Path of Finding Self-Acceptance
When I was a little girl, I remember the feeling of unfairness rising up in me often. It didn’t feel fair that my last name started with an S, which was towards the back of the alphabet, so I had to be called in attendance as one of the last students and sit in the back of the class. It didn’t feel fair that I looked different than other kids – I’m half Asian, and I grew up an in all Caucasian town. The unfairness list went on and on.
The idea of finding self-acceptance wasn’t taught to me as a child. It wasn’t part of our family culture, and so when I started hearing about it later in life as I started backpacking and spending a lot of time in India, at first it felt revelatory. At first I struggled with my intellectual mind: Wait, doesn’t acceptance mean that I’m giving up? It was the big battle that my mind was trying to wrap around.
Yet little by little, I came to understand the meaning, and the real power of acceptance. Acceptance is the pathway forward to peace, and importantly, inner peace. Acceptance is about finding harmony with this now moment. So whatever’s arising, we accept it. And when we find harmony with we then have more power and more energy to go forward and to create change, if that’s what we want. The openness that comes with acceptance is very magnetic. It’s a different frequency for allowing more that you can attract in and more will start to come to you.
All of this has to start with finding self-acceptance, as our inner connection is what influences and creates our experience in the external world. Self-acceptance, however, is a biggie for all of us. It sounds nice, but it’s not always so easy to embody!
It’s important to have solid tools that are practical, tangible and that you can use to keep fostering and deepening your inner connection, so that self-acceptance starts to build more and more, like a muscle.
Here are 5 practical tools that I want to share with you to help you along the self-acceptance journey, that have also really helped me.
5 Tools for Finding Self-Acceptance
1. Relax your body periodically throughout the day.
When your body is open and relaxed, you will have an easier time accepting things mentally. This is because our bodies, minds and spirit are all intrinsically connected. There is no real beginning and end, for all is energy. Working with your body’s power and wisdom to help heal and restrictive patterns is important.
To relax your body, simply do a scan from the top of your head to your feet, several times a day, and bring awareness to each area. Relax any areas of tension consciously as you scan down.
2. Gratitude at the beginning, middle and end of the day.
Resistance is when we want something to show up differently than how it really is. In contrast, when can find that expansive energy of gratitude, it can makes acceptance easier, no matter what we’re going through.
Gratitude means we look for the blessings in the here and now, and they are always there! So if you are having a hard time feeling grateful for your life, your body, or whatever situation is at hand, try getting out your journal and making a list of all that you can give thanks for in this moment. It can be the simple but important things we take for granted, like fresh air, clean water, running water, the sunlight, the ability to breathe.
3. Journaling for Empowerment Versus Victimhood.
This relates to what I shared with you earlier, about when I was a child, the prevalent “this isn’t’ fair” mindset. It parlays into: I don’t want it this way. I worked so hard. Why is this? Why is that? Ultimately, it is the disempowerment mentality of the victim. We can turn that into empowerment by shifting our perspective, and looking for the lessons, while also seeing any part that we played in the situation, as well as surrendering to the greater whole, the greater intelligence that we don’t fully understand.
Try using your journal as a powerful tool to shift your perspective. It can help to get things on paper to help create some perspective. First, write out whatever you feel about the situation or your life or whatever is on your mind.
Then try writing out these journal prompts for finding self-acceptance.
- What are the gifts of this situation?
- Without blame or shame, what can I see are the parts I played in this situation?
- What can I let go of in peace, which was beyond my control?
- What are the lessons I have learned?
4. Meditation on a daily basis.
This is the ultimate way to connect to your True Self, the formless nature within you, Spirit within you. When you do that, you become less attached and rigid about outer details and circumstances, because you start to transcend attachments. You realize there is so much more beyond what your physical eyes can see.
I’d love to share some of the free meditations I’ve created to help you connect to your True Self, which are inspired by my guru’s work, Paramahansa Yogananda.
They are called Practical Enlightenment Meditations™ and they have 3 components.
- First, some physical movement to help still the body.
- Second, breath work.
- Thirdly, the seed intention of that particular meditation in the I AM form, which is for merging our individual consciousness with the Divine.
You can find these meditations on my site, mysolluna.com or inside our Solluna App.
5. Include simple rituals around natural objects in your home.
Nature just IS. And this is a powerful lesson for all of us in the ultimate acceptance of I AM THAT I AM. Keeping natural objects like shells, crystals, rocks and so on your home altars or places you will see them, like in your kitchen, can help remind you and ground you to that knowing.
A simple ritual is every time you see that rock or natural object is to take a deep breath and come into your body, into this now moment- the ultimate act of finding self-acceptance. You can also hold a crystal and do a mini meditation when you feel your anxiety spiraling or you notice that you are definitely not in the now moment. Use your creativity and make some of your own rituals!
Ultimately, we are all here for a purpose, and we all have a unique essence and energy. The more we connect with that energy, which is the True Self, the more self-acceptance and acceptance in general will flow in our lives. This natural flow state of peace is our birthright.
Kimberly Snyder is a multi-time New York Times bestselling author, spiritual and meditation teacher, nutritionist and holistic wellness expert. She has authored 6 books, including Radical Beauty, which she co-authored with Deepak Chopra. Her highly anticipated 6th book, You Are More Than You Think You Are: Practical Enlightenment for Everyday Life, (Hay House) published on January 25th, 2022.
She is also the founder of Solluna®, a holistic lifestyle brand, Practical Enlightenment Meditation,™ Solluna Circle and the host of her top-rated Feel Good Podcast. She has worked with dozens of top celebrities to feel their best, including Drew Barrymore, Reese Witherspoon and Channing Tatum, and has been featured by numerous national media outlets, including Good Morning America, The Today Show, The New York Times and The Wall Street Journal. Kimberly resides in Los Angeles and Hawaii with her husband and her sons.
Kimberly Snyder Author Photo by Kevin Estrada